EMOTIONAL EXERCISE 4
I’m building a house of cards.
It’s pretty easy. Two cards get teepee’d together on a slant. They’re fortified on both open sides of the teepee by two more cards. Then place one across the top, balancing on the teepee, with two at each end propping it up. More of these base units sprout up around the first, with additional cards spread across their tops; connecting them all, like a ceiling.
Carefully I begin this process again to construct a second floor. If I’ve laid a strong enough foundation and proceed with a steady hand, I can add a third and maybe even a fourth floor. Continuing until I use all the cards in the deck.
Of course, I could run into problems. Being held together only by gravity and tension, the house is very fragile. Bumping the table or a forceful puff of breath as I’m working could bring the whole thing crashing down, in whole or in part.
If I don’t lose my enthusiasm to frustration, I could begin again. Maybe I’ll even resume with renewed resolve; refueling my optimism. Of course, I could also just give up, sitting in misery and lamenting, “Woe is me.”
Building a house of cards is lot like living with emotions.
Emotions are composed of thin, bendable pieces. They’re propped against each other, corner to corner, hinging on only tension. A fragile cohesiveness holds them together. A slight wind of fear can make them quiver. Some could dislodge and fall. A strong wind blows them all apart and they crash, leaving us exposed, vulnerable, and in despair.
Once we’ve steadied ourselves from the shock, generally we rebuild, though sometimes we just let despondency overtake us. We sit dejected; staring at the shambles left by the quake. We might cry to relieve the frustration (as described in the Cry, Cry Baby post), unable to respond immediately.
Rest helps. Sleep works wonders, though too much sleep can cause its own problems (as pointed out in my post Too Sleepy). But after some recovery time, we start to rebuild.
Like rebuilding a house of cards, we don’t start over from scratch, though. When the wind knocks down our house of card, they may all lay there flat on the table, but we’ve gained something too. We’ve gained experience.
We remember how to stack the cards in forming our base unit. We may even have discovered ways to fortify them more, making the unit stronger. We recall how to layer the foundation and overlay the subsequent floors.
It still takes effort, skill, and perseverance, but our experience helps us to rebuild faster, with more efficiency. We might even do it with greater patience and become more impervious to frustration. We realize fragile things collapse, but we can rebuild if we choose. In other words, we learn from each experience, adding to the pool of knowledge we’ve acquired thus far.
Experience, coupled with acceptance and patience, transforms into wisdom. We grow wiser with each experience we recover from.
So too, when rebuilding from an emotional collapse, we are more sure of our ability to recover. Though it still requires effort, skill, and perseverance, since we’ve recovered in the past, we know we can do it again. Confidence, gained from experience, is wisdom.
Well, I’m finished building my house and I have one card leftover. Ha! Look. It’s an ace I can keep.
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