PHILOSOPHY OF DOG SHIT

I stepped in dog shit the other night.

Just moments before, I nearly ran a red light. My mind was not where it needed to be. Fortunately my reflexes were quick enough and my brakes adequate to stop me before I plowed into a stream of cross traffic.

I’d distracted myself by plotting the best route to a grocery store. It was a store I didn’t usually go to, but was on the way to my destination that evening. There’s another store I’ve been to plenty of times, but it was a little out of the way. I was running late, so I wanted to choose the most opportune store on the most expedient path. My focus was on planning, not driving.

Not living in the “now” is a dangerous situation.

Prior to driving, the power had gone out at my house; right in the middle of my shower. What an inconvenience. I’d putzed around prior to jumping in the shower. I finished a few last minute things I wanted to tidy up before preparing to go out. If I started getting ready when I thought about it, instead of putting it off until the last possible minute, I’d have been showered before the lights went out. Who can plan for such a thing? But still, it was my procrastination that put me in this predicament. At any rate, that slowed me down and I proceeded to make myself late.

I was going to an informal get-together with people I’d never met before. They were the friends of my date. Of course, I was running late when she arrived, so I felt anxious about not being ready. Plus we decided to stop at a grocery story to pick up something for the party. Great! One more delay fed my anxiety even more.

This anxiety bolstered the nervousness I already felt about meeting people I’d never met before. I was certain they were good people, but I didn’t know them. I wanted to make a good impression. I wanted my date to be proud of me, not sorry she’d inflicted me upon her friends. So I was feeling nervous.

Nervousness is all the lubrication needed for events to slide down the slippery slope of tragedy. If I’d been in stronger control of myself, I would have remembered I’m a capable person who people tend to like simply for being myself. But instead, I breathed life into those ancient fears which plagued me ever since childhood — that I’m not worthy.

Old fears are debilitating, no matter how much we reason them away. They still hide on the edge of our psyche, lying in wait to infiltrate any time we doubt our own capability.

So, after nearly running that red light and finally making it to the grocery store parking lot, I turned the wrong way down a one-way parking aisle. I pulled around a couple oncoming cars, whose drivers glared at me like I was the Boston Strangler. Then I pulled into a spot toward the end of the lane, facing in the wrong direction.

Feeling embarrassed from my wrong way trek down a one way aisle and by facing the wrong direction in that space, I sheepishly pulled through into a parking space across the next lane that faced in the correct direction. Since there were no other cars around me, I should have just stayed where I was, but no, I was compelled by pride to pull through. I stepped out of my car and right into a pile of smoldering dog shit.

What else could go wrong tonight?

I felt utterly defeated when I revealed what happened to my date. Taking it all in stride, she simply said, “You go into the restroom and clean your shoe while I pick up what we’ll take with us.”

Crash! It was like a wall came tumbling down around me. What a perfectly simple and cogent plan. How grateful I was to have a friend’s hand to guide me back onto the path of capability. Her simple suggestion brought me back under control.

No matter what happens, we can leave it all behind, correct the situation, and move forward. This is true whether we’re fortunate enough to have a friend with us in our time of need or whether we’re alone.

On our way into the store, there was a container of disinfectant wipes set out, in case you want to wipe the handle of your shopping cart. Since my capable self was back, I grabbed a few of them and purposely made my way to the restroom (walking on my heel to avoid spreading my shit). I meticulously cleaned all the crap buried deep in the recesses of my sole. I rejoined my date. We proceeded to the party.

I had a wonderful time. I made a host of new friends and maybe even found a new kayaking bud.

Next time I’m mired in anxiety and nervousness, I hope I step in some dog shit.

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