TRUST FREELY
“A person has to earn my trust.”
This is a popular sentiment. How often have you heard that phrase? How often have you used it yourself?
Exactly how does a person earn someone’s trust? It’s not like a pamphlet is passed out when meeting someone new, where it contains all the essential information needed. I can just imagine getting one and the person saying, “Oh, and pay particular attention to Chapter 12. The one on how you can earn my trust.”
Is it a point system? Do I get 1 point for showing up on time, 5 points for following through on doing something I say, maybe 100 points if I change your tire in the rain alongside a busy freeway?
I have a different viewpoint on trust. I don’t believe it’s something earned. I believe it is a gift to give freely. If it’s violated, I will withdraw it, but only after I see a reason to take it back.
This concept of trusting freely may seem foreign, but it’s something we do all the time. When going to a grocery store, we trust that the food we buy is not spoiled, even if it’s a store where we’ve never been. We trust doctors we’ve never met before. We trust that as we approach a green light the stranger in the car on the cross street will not dart out in front of us.
Why do we do this? We trust the systems set up. Systems of checks and balances. We know that grocery stores are in the business of supplying edible food in order to make a profit. So, we trust they won’t do anything to negatively impact their sales. Doctors have to be board certified. So we know there are some minimum criteria they must satisfy. We know people like to drive. Going through too many red lights is just cause to revoke a license. So, we trust that people are motivated to abide by the systems.
Well, what about the system of life? How far will people get in life if they regularly violate the trust of others? You may recall getting burned by placing your trust in someone. It hurt. I’ve been hurt, too. But the number of times that’s happened has been rare.
If I stack up the number of violations against my trust to the number of times it hasn’t, well the ratio is miniscule. Some of them have caused major pain, but if stack up the total amount of pain received when my trust was violated against the total amount of joy I’ve received when it hasn’t, well the joy outweighs the pain by an almost infinite amount.
The amount of risk does not justify being overly cautious.
That doesn’t mean I trust blindly. I pay attention to obvious clues. I listen to voice inflections, look for eye contact, and pay attention to body language. But all those things are simply tools, not outright admissions of guilt.
I also rely on something I call the “inner voice” to guide me. Whatever the source of that “voice,” I know it provides an intangible and invaluable service in assessing sincerity.
Trusting freely allows me to develop very deep relationships with many people in a fraction of the time it would take by making them earn my trust. Life’s too short to make people jump through a series of hoops, simply to justify whether they’re trustworthy or not. I’d rather just believe they are and get on with the business of growing our friendship.
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It’s a fact. I hate insects.
I realize they have their purposes on this planet. Without insects like bees we wouldn’t have flowering plants and fruit, or so the mantra goes. But I’m not buying it. If there weren’t bees then some other creature would evolve to pollinate flowers. Like unemployed humans.
I suppose I hate bugs because I tend to be a bug-magnet, especially where mosquitoes are concerned. Whatever my blood chemistry is, mosquitoes detect it like a beacon.
Inviting me along for a hike through the woods guarantees a mosquito-free event for everyone else. I read somewhere that the carbon dioxide exhaled by animals attracts mosquitoes. So I’ve tried holding my breath, but the nasty critters find me anyway.
I also hate bugs because, with few exceptions like butterflies, they’re ugly and gross. However, there are people who actually like them and actively seek them out. Entomologists specialize in the collection and study of insects. They need to get a life.
Certain aborigines consider white, chewy grubs to be a food delicacy. I guess when the alternatives are Tasmanian Devil stew or sauté of crocodile snout, grubs start to look pretty good.
Trend setters eat chocolate-covered grasshoppers because they’re “green”. However, I have a feeling that when no one is looking, these trendy individuals spit the bugs out. Better that then getting a grasshopper leg or two caught between the teeth.
I think it’s the insect body structure that gives me the willies. The multiple antennae and legs thing is something out of a B science-fiction movie. So are their multi-faceted, bulging eyes.
Those eyes detect movement well, but not images. That’s a shame, ’cause I want that fly to appreciate the irony of me using a nature magazine to swat it out of existence.
Beetles and other chitinous insects wear their skeleton like body armor. These insects are hard on the outside and soft on the inside. Squishing them (which is what I do when I see one) produces an unpleasant crunching sound and a disgusting splat of innards. I could do without that.
Insect behavior is driven primarily by chemicals, just like pre-menstrual women. Similar to women, they can be unpredictable. Female spiders in particular are known for eating their mates after they’ve performed their one and only conjugal duty. Sort of like an instant divorce with no complications.
When I moved down to the South no one told me that insects thrive here, especially during the summer months. The relocation package certainly didn’t mention three-inch-long cockroaches that can fly. They’re native fauna and you can’t keep them out of the house. I’ve tried.
These mega-roaches just waltz right by those electronic repellents. And the sticky traps don’t deter them either. I saw one scampering around my apartment with a trap stuck to its butt like a second shell.
Someone told me I’m better off not spraying. Spraying traps them in the house and you have to deal with their dead bodies, which are just as gross as when they’re alive. Whereas not spraying allows them to come and go as they please at night when you’re sleeping. I can’t decide which is worse. Personally, I just pray for the arrival of winter.
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