SPONTANEOUS
I can be spontaneous. I just need to plan it in advance.
There’s nothing wrong in my book with having a well-thought out plan. Both humans and animals plan ahead to secure resources for the future. Squirrels hide nuts for the winter. Men have two girlfriends in case one doesn’t work out.
Logical planning just makes life simpler. And it can make the difference between life and death. I buy ten cases of chicken broth when it goes on sale so I have enough to make rice pilaf all winter long. I go to the post office every day so the mail in my box doesn’t accumulate. Otherwise, the postal-people will stuff the box with mail labeled, “Do Not Bend”.
Being spontaneous is difficult when you have a full agenda. And just because I don’t have a regular work-week doesn’t mean I have scads of free time.
My three-room apartment needs regular dusting and cleaning. Food and sundry housewares must be purchased. Meals (for one) need to be prepared. And if the meal requires an active ingredient other than water, it can be especially time-consuming.
Lacking a washing machine, I hand wash almost everything. It’s tedious. Large clothing in particular takes a lot of time to clean. I’ve been tempted to go down to the river, find a flat rock, and do the pounding thing women do in developing countries.
I have to stay in shape. That means numerous trips to the park to walk. Counting the time I spend dodging dog poop and double-wide joggers, this can take hours. Toss in time required to bathe and you’re easily looking at half a day gone before I have any time for spontaneity.
Being spontaneous, in any case, is not always positive. My spontaneous laughter in the middle of a sad play was not appreciated. Nor was the way I spontaneously threw-up on my date after a spicy dinner a cause for sympathy. And we’ve all heard of human spontaneous combustion. That’s definitely not a good thing.
I think being spontaneous is overrated. Personally, I don’t care for skinny-dipping in the middle of the night when you can’t see the water and God-only-knows-what swimming in it.
I didn’t like it the time I was surprised for my birthday, and everyone saw me in sweats and without any makeup. Likewise trying some weird, new food on a whim, like artichoke cheesecake or seaweed muffins, is not for me.
I can be spontaneous when it comes to romance. But it does take a lot to get me in the mood. Flowers, cards, clothes, jewelry and expensive evenings out, do help. So does excessive flattery. I have to be fed, though, or all bets are off.
Once the mood is established I’m pretty flexible. So when my date herds me into my kitchen one evening, I’m game. But does that mean I’m not supposed to mention the refrigerator handle knifing into my side? Am I required to remain mute about the edge of the counter top squashing my vertebrae? I don’t think so.
And when I tell him I need something to cushion me, he’s dead if he grabs the good kitchen towel I have out for company
If you're enjoying this over coffee, tea, or whatever, please consider buying me a cup!DIFFERENT, YET THE SAME, AND RESILIENT
I have one leg longer than the other. I bet you do too. My study of statistics taught me that everything has variation. Often the differences are so minute that they’re immeasurable, but they do exist.
So, the difference in the lengths of my legs is not even noticeable. Probably that’s true for you, as well. Symmetric body parts are never totally symmetric.
Look at your hands. One is slightly larger. Hold out your fingers. The same fingers on opposite hands may be straight or curve similarly, but one is longer or curves a little more than the other. The patterns of lines on each hand certainly differ.
Everything that’s considered the same, has differences. They may be subtle, but they’re still identifiable.
Even though your hands differ, they still do the same functions. Of course, one is generally more dominant. Writing is done with one hand, while the other rests on the paper to hold it steady. It may be the same hand that you bowl with, while the other is used for balance when bowling. So, they work in tandem, as a team, in coordination to accomplish tasks.
In baseball, one hand throws, while the other catches. My father, however, threw and caught with the same hand. But that was because he lost one of his in an industrial accident. He learned to use his remaining hand to do everything he’d performed with the other one. He adapted. Humans are pretty resilient.
Humans are also different. Body shapes, sizes, hair color, even skin color varies. Like symmetric body parts or anything else considered to be similar, differences between humans are obvious. Again, though, they’re often subtle.
If we look beyond cosmetic differences, we find that just like our hands which can do the same functions, humans are very much alike. Certainly we all must eat, sleep, and satisfy our bodily needs if we wish to remain alive and in good health. But the oneness goes much deeper than that.
We all dream. We all hope. We all feel. We all experience events creating joy, pain, amusement, anger, happiness, and sadness. The individual events through which we experience all these emotions differ, sometimes dramatically, but we all experience each and every one of them.
I may not have experienced the pain of losing a spouse, but I have experienced profound loss. I may not have experienced the exhilaration of pitching a no-hitter in the Major Leagues, but I have experienced excitement which made my whole body tingle.
So, everything I feel, you feel. Everything you feel, I feel. The feelings just result from different sets of circumstances. Hence, I can understand the depths of your emotions, as you can also understand mine.
Also, like symmetric body parts that work together to coordinate accomplishing tasks, chores go much easier and get done more efficiently if we work together. You wouldn’t find your right hand trying to swat away a ball that your left hand is trying to catch. So, why should one human intentionally try to disrupt another who is striving to accomplish some feat? Why not work together to share the load and both receive benefit?
And, like my father, who lost his hand and learned to make do with the other, if we lose one of our fellow humans who we once relied on, we can adapt. We learn to go on, forging new unions with others to carry on with this business of life. It isn’t easy, but we are resilient.
If you're enjoying this over coffee, tea, or whatever, please consider buying me a cup!
